I used to be a better liar. I’d just stare into a guys eyes, play with my necklace to draw attention to my neckline and I’d get whatever I wanted. Big blue eyes or low cut blouses could get me anywhere…

Me and him

I used to stall, make him forget what he was saying, make him nervous, get him to blush and then catch his gaze and look reproachfully at him like I knew what he was thinking.

I could play games like these all day long, with no other purpose but to prove to myself that I got what it takes… But then something changed. I changed. I stopped enjoying silly games. I fell in love. I fell in love and all these games became nonsense, all that mattered was to be transparent. Being your unfiltered self, so you could be loved in return.

It takes a lot of work to be able to say what you think; to not hold anything back. We people are so protective of ourselves. We’re so quick to trust the funny guy in the TV commercial but we find it so impossible to trust loved ones who prove themselves over and over again. And why? Because you might be embarrassed if someone else knew what you were thinking? Because they might hurt your feelings once they knew what you secretly care about?

There is no greater feeling than knowing you’re loved for who you are. As cliché as it might sound, ‘being loved for who you really are’, just imagine… Being yourself, acting as you would if you were alone, not having to put any effort into how you act, not having to weigh your words before you speak and still be wanted; still be loved.

Whoever said relationships are hard wasn’t being himself. It’s truly hard to fake a relationship. It’s exhausting to be in character all the time, I’ll give you that! But if it’s just you and him and no wall between you, there’s nothing easier.

And there’s nothing boring about being wanted for the person you are. It’s the most sensual, confidence boosting thing possible. It’s you that’s great! Not the role you’re trying to play.

So spare me the drama, games and tears. I’m happier than I thought I could ever be. For this, baby, thank you!